Limited Perspective...

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”

We never have enough information to enable us to fully understand the truth of the reality around us. And there is never only one correct perspective about anything.
Knowing this helps me let go of my tendency to label things as good or bad. I suffer least when I can accept reality just as it is. And I benefit most when I open my heart and mind in appreciation.

“If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now.”

Self contempt never inspires lasting change...

I can suck myself down into a deep, black hole when I focus on what I think I SHOULD be… more loving, sexy, productive, whatever. Thinking I should be something else means I’m not good enough now. This is poverty thinking and a guaranteed way to be miserable.
I can let go of this suffering by accepting WHAT IS. I can say, “This is how I am right now and that’s okay.”
When I first tried this, I could say it but not believe it. Then I began to experience the freedom this perspective brings – just by changing my mind! Now I’m beginning to believe it. What a gift!
When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.

I love Christmas...

This time of year is so wonderful to me...I can feel the atmosphere change and it seems as if most of our hearts are knit together as one; uniting our thoughts towards acts of kindness and rememberance of the baby Jesus. I also get that 'little girl' feeling of excitement and awe as I watch my own children take delight in the Christmas spirit...I would like to keep that little girl faith I had once upon a time, not just during this time of year, but all year long...

I found this little quote and wanted to share it:
Let Us Keep Christmas...
Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing; Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering....It's poignant meaning for the hearts of men.Let us get back our childlike faith again.

I also like these Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

Feeling Good!

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on a tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

And I'm feeling good...

Thanksgiving...

Yesterday was a time to be thankful and as my son asked everyone around the table what we were thankful for I was reminded of a church song that happens to be a fave of mine. The words from the song resonate within my soul of things that I am thankful for too.

"For the beauty of the earth, for the glory of the skies, for the love which from our birth over and around us lies; Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise

For the beauty of each hour of the day and of the night, hill and vale, and tree and flower, sun and moon, and stars of light; Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise

For the joy of ear and eye, for the heart and mind's delight, for the mystic harmony, linking sense to sound and sight; Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise

For the joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child, friends on earth and friends above, for all gentle thoughts and mild; Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise

For thy church, that evermore lifteth holy hands above, offering up on every shore her pure sacrifice of love; Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise

For thyself, best Gift Divine, to the world so freely given, for that great, great love of thine, peace on earth, and joy in heaven: Lord of all, to thee we raise this our hymn of grateful praise..."

I am very thankful for my children and the part they play in my life...they are my joy! I love them all so very much! I am thankful for my mother, sisters and brother. I am so very thankful for my friends that I do have and for the happiness that friendship brings to my life. Most of all I am grateful for a kind, patient, understanding and loving Heavenly Father.

I hope that we will remember to give thanks to God above for all our blessings great and small that we have been given every day!

Enjoy life....

When we set an intention to change and grow, we begin a journey in which we move from coping, to learning and finally, to the enjoyment of living.

Here are some of the shifts we move through:

From dependence on the clock, to charting a direction, to moment-to-moment guidance from intuition.
From doing things right, to doing the right things, to being your true self.
From lack of self discipline to having personal willpower to serving divine will.
From being out of control, to being in control, to trusting and letting go of the need to control.

With each step, we experience greater freedom, fulfillment and joy. Worth going for, don・t you think?

"Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change."
-- Stephen R. Covey

Judge not, that ye be not judged...

We know the power of thoughts create.... Consider, then, the impact of our judgments. When we judge someone critically, those judgments have the power to affect the one being judged, if they are open to our perceptions. This is the case even when we don’t say what we’re thinking.
For example, if I judge someone to be fat, and that individual perceives him or herself to be fat and is sensitive to the opinions of others, my thoughts will reinforce their ‘fat’ experience.
Being aware of the impact of our judgments helps us let go of our tendency to judge.
“There are three kinds of violence: one, through our deeds; two, through our words; and three, through our thoughts. …The root of all violence is in the world of thoughts, and that is why training the mind is so important.”
-- Eknath Easwaran

Optimistic...

Before my father passed away my sister Bonnie was visiting with us and helping out my mother and father during the last difficult days. During that time she got me a CD with some spiritually uplifting songs. At the time I just kind of rolled my eyes and was like "thanks sis". BUT I started listening to it on my drive to take my daughter Susanna to her church class in the morning, and then when I take the boys to school, and some of the songs on there have touched me. With all that is going on in the world right now it's nice to take some time every morning and listen to music that uplifts and encourages. I would like to share some of the words of one of the songs that I like best.

"...you've got a feeling there is more than living life this way. I want to show you reality that you've never seen
There is
More love than we can imagine
There is more peace than we'll ever know
It's more than we dream
More than we've seen or heard of before
There is more

Instead of dreaming
You're trying to keep yourself alive
And make it through another day
Though it's not easy, believe me
There's a reason why
You're here to discover all that's in store
That's what we came here for

More power
More mercy
More hope than ever thought possible
More life in me
More life in you"

It is these little moments every day that I feel very optimistic about my future,.... OUR future!

Stand fast in what you believe...be a Rock!

I would like to see John McCain and Obama take a stand, not just go for the press conference, not just go for the quick shots of sitting around the table with everybody but actually lead. Where is the leader? I'll tell you where the leader is. They are all afraid because what we have done is over time we have elected weasels. We have elected people that don't know what they stand for. They don't know what they believe in. I know what I believe. I know it, and I've been tested and I've been thrown up against a wall. So many people have. You probably have been tested, and you're tested through failure. That's the only way you know what you truly believe because once you failed, will understand what I'm about to say. When you're laying down on the floor in the fetal position on the carpet of a rat-infested apartment that you can barely afford and your whole life has fallen apart, you got two choices: Life or death. And when you choose life, you know, "Okay, I can't live this way anymore. So what got me here. What do I believe in. What are the things that I actually believe in." I've been in that fetal position. Millions of Americans have been in that fetal position. You may be in that fetal position right now for a myriad of reasons.
Our financial sector is in that fetal position right now. Well, damn it, where are the people who stand up and say "I know what I believe. I believe in capitalism. I believe in the American spirit. I believe in freedom. I believe in the ability to fail and the ability to succeed. I believe in my fellow American. I do not believe in some gigantic global entity that's telling me how to live my life."
The world is about to change, gang. As much as the world changed on September 11th, it is about to change even more. And unfortunately there are no burning towers to alert the people. But that's the way usual -- that is usually the way evil wins. When it's blatant, when it's on fire, you don't see it coming. And evil wins because good people do nothing, and good people do nothing because they don't necessarily see it. I really, truly believe in divine providence. I really believe it. I really, truly believe that you're listening for a reason. Maybe not everybody, but you. Ask yourself, what is the message that I'm supposed to get? What is it I'm supposed to hear? What is it I'm supposed to do? What is it I'm supposed to tell other people? I will tell you what I believe I am supposed to tell you today and that is we are going to make it. It is going to be ugly, it is going to be brutal, but we are going to make it, and the reason why we're going to make it is because of people like you, and you've got to go find more people like you. You've got to go take them by the shoulders today and look them square in the eyes and say, wake up, man; okay, wake up; here it is. You need to stand fast in what you believe. You need to rededicate yourself today to those things that are real. There is a massive storm coming to our shores and you must be the rock. But you've got to ask yourself, what is that rock? What are you built on? Not politics.

My Father's Funeral...

My father, Daniel Edward Stone Sr. had his funeral on the 18th of September. There were more than 200 people that attended that day. It was a time of sadness yet also a time of renewed family kindlings and friendships, as most all of my Aunts, Uncles and cousins were there, and family friends. The funeral was supposed to go smoothly but my father was late to his own funeral! The hearst arrived about 45 minutes late due to traffic and getting lost along the way. After they arrived everything DID go smoothly and the service was beautiful and I could feel my father's presence near. My brother-in-law sang "Danny Boy" and that song touched me so much. My father loved that song! Another touching moment was when all the grandchildren sang, "I am a Child of God." When the service was over we all drove out to Greenwood Mortuary in San Diego and had a special blessing service at the Moseleum site where my father was placed. My daughter Lydia took pictures which I have posted below.

This is outside of the Moseleum where my father rests in peace.




The older grandsons were the Pallbearers.

My father served for 6 years in the Navy during the Korean War so the Navymen were there to honor him. Taps was playedThey folded up the flag and then presented it to my mother.

My brother, mother and I look adoringly at the flag. My mother has been an angel throughout the whole time while being with my father during his last moments on earth. She is a strong woman!

It was a lonely feeling leaving my father...I still find it hard to believe that he is in heaven and not here with us. I miss you dad!

My hero...my Dad!

September 11th was my dad's birthday and I got a text at work from Conrad and Daniel informing me that during dinner my dad had a seizure. I called home and my kids told me that he was taken to the hospital by the Ambulance. I quickly left work and was teary eyed as I drove home. I was scared he wasn't going to make it!
I had called Lydia and when they arrived we went to the hospital, and it was the middle of shift change- so we waited for 45 minutes until we could get into the ICU. I'm so glad we stayed to see him because that was the last time I saw him awake. We walked into the ICU and sat at the doorway of his room because it was dark and it looked like he was sleeping. He must have heard us talking because he started to wave his hand underneath his blanket. We walked in and I was able to read him the birthday card I had made for him.
"He's a Man of great dignity,
honor and strength.
His merits are noble, and of admirable length.
He's far greater than all other men that I know,
He's my dad, he's my mentor, my friend and hero!" I love you Dad!
When I finished my father tenderly said "I love you too!" Lydia was full of life and started telling him about how Caden figured out how to open all of the kitchen cabinents and tried to take everything off of the shelves. He grinned his little grin and said "Naughty Caden!" We laughed and then she also told him about how Caden had found one of his cane's and was trying to figure out how to get through the doorways with it. He responded with his quick wit "He's raising cane!" We told him we loved him so much and that we would leave so he could rest. I asked him if he was going to be able to go home soon and he said he thought that maybe tomorrow or the next day he'd go home. (After thinking about that comment I think he was telling me that he was going home to Heaven) He wanted us to remember to shut the curtain so the lights wouldn't be so bright. His last words to us were "I love you!"
The next morning Lydia and I rushed over to the hospital at 9 am to get a paper for her husband's work and to sneak in and see my dad really fast. We got there and we saw the Dr. standing by him saying "Mr. Stone, Mr. Stone, do you hear me, Mr. Stone?" We just watched him for a second as he kept raising his right pointer finger to his lip over and over again. The Dr. turned to us and said, "He's just became un-responsive. We are getting him ready to go to a CAT scan. We have to check his brain because we think he is having a focul seizure." We went to to him and gave his hand a squeeze and then the nurse started talking to us and said that he was awake that morning, he had fed himself and ate all of his food, then right before we got there he lapsed into this seizure which turned into a coma. We were only in there for maybe 5 minutes before they needed to whisk him away to his CAT scan. My heart sunk and I was worried, but knew my mom and Bonnie would be there soon.
Lydia and I left to go and run some errands, we needed some things for my car since it had broken down. As we were in Target, I got a phone call from my sister Bonnie. I stopped dead in in the aisle and my voice got shaky and I said, "Oh my gosh Bonnie, did dad die?" I got off the phone and rushed back to the hospital and I told Lydia that Grandpa was bleeding to death. It turns out there was bleeding on his brain and it had gone from 1 cm to 6 cm. In order for the blood to stop, pressure was building up on his brain causing brain damage. They told us they could do surgery but he would need 24 hour care and would be more or less in a vegetable state. My father had told my mom he never wanted to live like that so we decided to stop all the medication and let him pass by himself. He was in a coma state until he passed away.
It's different to watch a person die and even more difficiult when it's your father. Since he was in a coma he couldn't swallow and the saliva was building up in his airpassage way. It was as if he was gurgling all night long. My brother, sisters, mother and I sat by his bedside throughout the night and listened to what sounded like a very loud, gurlgling snore. We shared memories of our father, the good and the bad...but mostly the good. We even laughed at some of the stories we remembered and had as good of a time as we could as we were surrounded by loving thoughts of our father. At one point we were discussing his funeral, around 7am Sunday morning, (Sept. 14th) and I noticed that it was quieter. I mentioned that to my family and we gathered around my father, held his hand and my mother gently stroked my fathers hair and whispered her eternal love and goodbyes, then kissed him. We held hands after that and watched my father take his last mortal breaths. It was oddly peaceful as he passed from this life into the next.
We thought that he was gone but feel that he played one last joke on us as the moniter went flat and everyone had gathered around him and then he took another breath and everything popped back up again and then flatlined for the last time. I said Icould picture him in heaven with his brother Burke saying, "Burke, watch this!"
As my daughter Lydia pointed out, he always had a twinkle in his eye and a joke ready to be told. He was a wonderful example to me and my children..and I too can hear him say, as he used to whenever he was done talking to me on the phone or when I left home...Don't forget!!! I won't ever forget dad...you love me! And don't ever forget....that I love you too!

Life...

Yesterday was a rough patch in my life... My father found out he had cancer about 6 weeks or more ago and within those six weeks he has progressively gotten weaker and weaker. It has been hard to see him go from being so actively involved with yard work, church, traveling, skiing, etc. to today. He has to use a walker now and I can see he is in pain when he gets up (with our help) and walks. I want to take away his pain and wish I could do so! My mother and sister (visiting from MI) went grocery shopping so I was here to take care of my father should he need it. He did. I had to help him go to the bathroom. I love my father so much and it just hit me that he might not make it. I want him to and feel like he will be a survivor...but felt differently yesterday. It saddened me and I cried. He has always been the strong one in our family so it is hard to see him so weak. I guess though that even though he is physically weak he is still morally and spiritually strong. He is my hero!

Beach day with my boys!

Susanna has started H.S. already so the boys and I decided to go to the beach on my days off from work this week. The boys start school on the 25th...then who am I going to do things with on my days off from work?

We went to Moonlight beach which is our fave little beach in the area. We had fun, fun, fun!!! We brought a football with us and Conrad and I threw it back and forth to each other. He has a good right arm and can throw like a pro! I am awesome at catching but terrible at being a quarterback, especially with sand and water on the ball. Then we tried playing a little game and I was supposed to understand the plays that Daniel was telling me to do so that we could get past Conrad. I think they laughed a lot...at me!!! We had a great time...and will be going back today! Yay US!

Back to School...

Susanna goes back to school August 11th and will be starting her 10th grade year of High School. And then the boys start on the 25th. I will have to start getting up EARLY to take them to school and then get myself ready for work. Susanna will be going to church seminary at 6am and I will have to drive her there, come back home, get the boys ready for school, drive them to school, go back home and get myself ready for work and then go to work. I am exhausted already! I don't do early mornings very well at all...I guess I will have to train myself to like it though. It may be tough but we will all survive the adjustment and get back into the groove of school life once again.
I'm excited for them all to be attending school here and looking forward to helping them with homework, projects, activities, etc. I love my kids!

Reflections...

So many times I feel that I have to be perfect according to parents and church expectations...but I fall short every time, however, I don't necessarily think that is a wrong thing because usually I learn alot from every fall I make. I just wish that people could really, really see ME and that I wouldn't feel like I have to hide the real me; especially at church and in front of my parents. I feel like I am a good, beautiful person on the inside as well as on the outside regardless of how spiritual or religious I am or lack thereof I may be.

I do believe in God and feel his love in my life. I do believe in what I was taught and how I was brought up within my family. But I also firmly believe in Christs teachings and example of how he loved others unconditionally. Sadly... too often I see or feel that many just don't understand that concept of loving unconditionally as Christ did and continues to do...otherwise we'd be opening our arms to those who may appear different or have different opinions and love them for who they really are; whether they be black, white, spanish, asian, etc., gay, lesbian, both, single, divorced, sinner, tattooed, handicapped, drunk, drug addict, or whatever!

This song expresses how I feel today...

Beach day...

I have a day off from work...YAY! and the kids and I have planned to go to the beach...but first we need to clean and wash my car, help the grandparents out in the yard, eat lunch and then we can head on out to the BEACH!!!! I may take them to La Jolla today, to the Cove and explore the caves..or to our fave beach near Encinitas. I think I am leaning more towards La Jolla...unless we find out where some of my kids friends are hanging today with thier families, then we will go to that beach. I am just happy to have a day off from work and time with the kids! Woohoo!

Iron Mountain

Today I hiked "Iron Mountain" with my friend. It was a 3.5 mile hike up the mountain and then 3.5 down...it was a great hike but it sure was hot. Every time we'd get to a point where there'd be a little breeze, I'd stop and enjoy the coolness of it..ahhhh....it was so nice. The view was spectacular on the top and we sat for a bit and rested before heading back down. Afterwards we went to the "In and Out" burger joint and ate lunch and got a couple of delicious shakes. My chocolate shake was the best ever after that hike!!! It was a perfect day!

Sweet Sixteen...

I remember when I turned 16...had a fun little party at my house and turned the family room into a party room. We had music, flashing lights, food and about 24 friends. I couldn't date until I was 16 and I had thought that once I turned 16 the phone would ring off the hook with guys calling me for dates. LOL! So young and naive back then...but I did have pleanty of good times going to dances, hangin with a good group of friends and every now and then had a boyfriend.

Now it is Susanna's turn to be sweet 16!! We just had a little family birthday celebration for her on the 3rd of July and today she got her hair cut and pampered at the nail salon. She is full of life and so very sweet; and a little excited yet shy about going on dates or meeting new people. She will be starting a new H.S. August 11th and hopefully we will have her all decked out in the cutest/stylish clothes and ready to go! She is a cutie pie and will have no problem making new friends. I love my sweet Susanna~!

We took pictures of her new hair cut and of course her brothers wanted to get pics too. They all get along so well. I feel quite blessed to have such wonderful children!...all EIGHT of them!

4th of July!

For some strange reason every time I see Fireworks I feel like I really LOVE this land we live in...America! More importantly this year I am very grateful for those who are fighting for us at this time and for those who have died while fighting for the United States of America. Personally I do not condone war and think that we could have solved what happened on September 11th differently....but seeing that we have so many military units in Iraq and Afghanistan now...and my son about to be one of them...I am thankful and mindful of the soldiers fighting for us...it is because of all the soldiers who have fought the fight that we are able to enjoy sitting at the beach watching the beautiful and spectacular fireworks show. Of course, I would rather have all the soldiers home with thier families, instead of being at war or instead of seeing a fireworks show!!!

My Marine son, Seabury, flew from Ft. Knox KY to San Diego for about three days to spend time with us. We all enjoyed being with him so very much! He has gone from boy to man since he joined the Marines and I am thankful for this change. I am proud of him and the choices he is making now. He is a good person and I value his opinions and words of wisdom. Conrad, Daniel and Susanna admire him and had a good time playing around with thier big bro. I wished I could have had more time with him but I got to take him on a little 'date' and we had a great time. I love him!!!

Overheating...

I was on my way to Yuma, AZ yesterday to pick up my wonderful kids but about 14 miles outside of El Centro, CA my car started overheating. I remembered how my dad would turn on the heater whenever we'd overheat while driving to Las Vegas, NV back in the day when I was just a little girl...so...that is what I did. I also pulled over to let my car cool off and read my car manual to see what I should do when having this problem. My car did cool down and I started off again only to have it quickly heat back up within only minutes. Feeling frustrated, I pulled my car back over to the side, and called AAA for a tow into town. It sure was hot and I could feel the sweat dripping down my neck so decided to get out of my car. I figured that since I had to wait about 15-30 minutes for the tow truck I might as well make good of a bad situation and work on my tan. LOL!

I leaned against my car to kind of relax but it was way too hot to the touch. In fact it was so hot outside that within 5 minutes or less my I could feel the heat on my legs as if they were burning. OUCH! Fortunately for me a good samaritan stopped (truck driver) and gave me an ice cold sweet tea and offered to let me stay in his air conditioned truck while waiting for the tow. The AAA guy got there quicker than I thought he would and we went to Pep Boys but was told it would be THREE hours before they could even take a look at my car and then they couldn't guarantee it'd be worked on and finished that same day. The AAA tow man made a call and took me to another spot in town, they got me in right away, but then told me it'd cost about $600 to repair and a 4-6 hr wait. I wanted to cry! I told him I didn't have $600 and asked if he could give a distressed, single mother discount to me and he said he'd see what he could do. He then took us to the Mall so that we wouldn't have to wait in thier little office. At the Mall the kids and I decided to watch a movie to kill time and saw Wall-E. It was really cute!

We got a call from the repairman soon after the movie was over with the news that my car was ready and he was throwing in a oil change as well. Back at the repair shop he told me that the final bill was going to be $379!!! I was soooooo relieved and felt that I was watched over by my gaurdian angel today and that everything was going to be okay.

We made it home safely and we are all happy campers now!

I like to play!

I now get Tues. and Wed. off from work and it feels wonderful! Yea ME! I have time now to get things done AND play a little too. This morning my father and I rearranged furniture to make room for my kids...they will be moving in with me July 1st...I am super excited!!! Today I am going to head on out to the beach in an hour or two....can't wait to just lay out soaking up the sun and chilln. I absolutely LOVE the beach and could stay for hours and hours doing basically nothing but enjoy the sun, surf, scene and time to myself. It's as if I am rejeuvenated after a day or two at the beach. And when my kids are here with me we will all hit the beach with our boards to stay and play in the sun. Ahhhh.... Life IS good!

I love cookies!

Last night I made cookies. I ate the cookie dough and baked cookies! It was sooooo delicious. I haven't baked cookies or made much of anything lately so it was nice to be back in the kitchen being creative. I decided to use the basic Toll House Choc. Chip cookie recipe on the back of the Choc. Chip bag but added oats, craisins, white choc. chips, milk choc. chips and semi-sweet choc. chips in 1/2 the batter. Then the other half was just milk choc. chips and white choc. chips. I also had some white frosting so made cookie sandwiches (kinda like oreos). mmmmmm good! I think I was on a sugar high for quite a while last night too!

I put them in the cookie jar so that my parents and I could enjoy them and my mom said that my dad thought they were store bought from the bakery. :-) I think they are BETTER than from a bakery but the remark made me smile and feel pretty cool anyways.

.... in the words of the cookie monster...Me LOVE cookies! yum! Time to go eat some more!

Wisdom teeth...will I still be wise without them?

I had an appt. this morning to get two wisdom teeth out but to my surprise and horror they told me that after looking at my x-rays they determined that I needed all FOUR wisdom teeth out! OUCH! The top two came out without a hitch, they just popped right out but the bottom two made me want to cry with pain! Actually I had been given some pain killers before they started AND they numbed me up real good with novacaine but I could hear the cracking of my teeth, the grinding of the drill, feel the pressure on my jaw from the pulling, tugging, drilling, etc. to get those darn teeth out. They had grown in sideways and just did not want to come out very easily. Needless to say I am still doped up on some great pain medication, but I look like a little chipmunk and it hurts to open my mouth. Fortunately I have lost my appetite but have managed to drink some fruit smoothies, water and diet soda.
On the up side of all this I took today and tomorrow off from work and enjoyed the sun today while lounging in the back yard for a couple of hours and have plans to do the same tomorrow...gotta work on that California tan ya know? ;-)

She's got the look...

There is a new reality TV show on now called, "She's got the Look" and it's about women over the age of 35 trying out to get a modeling contract with Wilhimena's in NYC and to be on SELF magazine. I watched it the other night and thought to myself that I could have been on that show...and wondered how all these women who tried out heard about the open auditions. This may sound cliche but I have always wanted to be a model ever since I was a young girl. I remember going to see my cousin in a Beauty Pageant and I was hooked but unfortunately my mother told me that being a model was not something she wanted me to do. I wonder what my life would have been like had I not listened...to her and went on to model...or if I would have even made it in the modeling world??? Anyways, no regrets...I have EIGHT beautiful children and they're having children of thier own..and life is awesome right now. BUT...it sure would be fun to keep my eyes opened for opportunities like "She's got the Look" and audition..you never know...maybe now is my time to shine???!!!

The beach...

Yesterday was an interesting day...instead of going to work my boss needed me to take her elderly father (who walks with a walker) to the Eye Dr. and then to her brothers office down at La Jolla beach. Of course I stayed at the office for a while til traffic died down because who wants to fight traffic when you can enjoy the awesome view of La Jolla Cove from the office deck.

So we (Sid..my bosses dad and I) pulled up some lounge chairs and enjoyed a little bit of sunshine, spectacular views of the ocean and people watched while waiting for Sid's son to be finished working. Then we walked across the street to an Italian Restaurant and sat outside in the courtyard to eat dinner. I felt like I was somewhere else, like on vacation, in Italy perhaps... sure was a nice break from the same old, same old and felt like I was actually on a little vaycay. It was awesome!

I am nobody but myself...

I got a message from my eldest son the other day and it made me think about things that are going on in my life. Lately or rather for most of my life I have always tried to please other people and be who they wanted me to be instead of who I wanted to be. Even now I feel inclined to be a people pleaser but sometimes you just need to pause and put things back into perspective and take care of yourself and be who you are regardless of the thoughts of others around you telling you what to do, how to think, how to act, and what they feel is best for you. The only person that really knows those things best is YOU...or in my case ME! I know what is best for me..I know how I want to act, talk, become, etc. and during this pondering moment I found some quotes that I liked and wanted to share.

• It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance," 1841
• Be neither a conformist or a rebel, for they are really the same thing. Find your own path, and stay on it.
• If you don't control your mind, someone else will. ~John Allston
• If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got. ~Author Unknown
• Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
• The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself. ~Rita Mae Brown, Venus Envy
• To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955
• Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
• It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings
• All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

Soooo....I just need to remember that I am nobody but myself! and that isn't a bad thing...I know I have weaknesses and need to improve in a few areas but right now....I like who I am!

Brrrr It's cold outside!

This morning it started out pretty nice and looked like it was going to be a happy sunny day but man was I fooled...it has turned into a cold, grey, rainy day! What happened to my happy sunny day? :-(
I have been told that here in the San Diego area they have what is called "Gloomy June" or something like that...I think the gloomy weather started early! sigh...
I suppose it is okay though...I do like changes in the weather because it adds spice to life..right? If every day were the same it would get kinda boring... ;-)
and even though it is grey, cloudy, dismal, dreary, gloomy, and I feel like Eyeore off Winnie the Pooh, I can have a HAPPY SUNNY DAY on the inside!

BELIEVE!

BELIEVE in your dreams and they may come true, BELIEVE in yourself and they will come true!
Sometimes it is difficult to believe in yourself...I know...because often I doubt my abilities, talents, and knowledge. I was watching Oprah yesterday and she had an author on there who wrote "Quantaum Wellness". I am going to buy that book, read it, and put into practrice what was written. It's about how to push through our boundaries of our own self centered fears.
I believe it's time for me to work on my fears and overcome them so that my true inner beauty will be able to shine through and then I will be able to truely believe in myself and make my dreams a reality!

I am wilting today...

I went for my walk/run this morning around 9am and you know I be sweating...it was already hot! and kinda felt humid! WHAT? I moved away from the humidity...so I thought! Even after my shower I was feeling that humidity and still feeling sticky wet...ewwww..had to get my little fan, plug it in, and have it directly on me while getting ready this morning. Now I feel like I am wilting..or melting...I just wanna go to the beach and enjoy the cool ocean breeze and feel the refreshing water on my body!
I am really seriously thinking of taking my bathingsuit to work today and jumping in that pool! Maybe I will swim laps AFTER work to cool off a bit before going home...anyone want to join me??? ;-)

Oh happy day...

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. Helen Keller
As I strive to be happier in my life I have found that my motivation and happiness comes from within; from enjoying the simplest delights...flowers in the Spring, bunnies on the lawn, birds in the little birdbath in the garden, smelling honeysuckles while taking a walk, feeling the cool ocean water on my feet, laying out in the sun and feeling the refreshing breeze, weeding the yard with parents, going shopping with my sister or friends,hearing my children laugh, seeing them smile and the list goes on and on. The most beautiful things are felt in my heart...and that is what I draw from to be happy

The heat is on in CALI...

We are to hit around 95-100 today...sigh! I love the sunshine and hot weather but only if I can be at the beach all day long. I can sit for hours and hours in the sun at the beach and soak it all in. But when at work I wish I could just forward the phones and lounge by the pool or better yet on a floaty while on the water IN the pool. Now that would be a great way to work! At the resort I work at there is a pool and sometimes I am the only one in the office so technically I could forward the phones to my cell phone and hang out by the pool for a couple of hours at least...hmmm....it is rather tempting! Maybe I will bring my swimsuit to work and wellllll...ya never know! ;-)

The Dentist...

I went to the Dentist today and had THREE of my teeth worked on...Going to the dentist is something I put off until I absolutely have to go. I never liked getting my teeth drilled, filled, pulled, tugged, etc. I don't mind having them cleaned and someday I will get them whitened, brightened and perfect but when you're told that you need a root canal, and then crowns on three other teeth and then wisdom teeth out...well...that is reason enough to not like seeing the dentist for awhile. I guess I am just being a big baby right now because my teeth still hurt from this mornings visit! When it's all over and done with I will be a happy dentist abiding citizen. ;-)

Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life...

I can't believe how time flies..it seems like just yesterday that all my children were young and I was at home with them playing, singing, watching TV, going to the Lake, helping with homework, baking cookies, cleaning, doing laundry, and wondering what my life would be like when my kids were older.

Now I know...I love all my children and have loved watching them grow and mature and have families of thier own. I am thankful to be a mother of such fine and wonderful children. They are my angels!

I was excited for Susanna, Conrad and Daniel to come to CALI for Mother's Day. We had a marvelous time together. I took them to my work at Castle Creek Inn and showed them around the resort, introduced them to my boss Ellie Walton, and we went on a hike up in the hills around the resort. Then we went shopping with my mother and had a nice BBQ later in the evening. Sunday, Mother's Day we went to church and listened to beautiful talks about Mother's and we were given roses to take home and had pastries, fruit and other delicious treats. For dinner my mother made a Pot Roast, with potatoes, carrots and Strawberry Shortcake for dessert. That was my favorite meal growing up as a child that we would eat on Sundays. She would slow cook it in a pressure cooker back then..this time she used a Crockpot. It was still succulent and very yummy just like I remember.